RUN!!!

The decision to run this morning came with all of the "why not to's"... "Run?! When was the last time I ran? I can't really remember. What if you trip and fall?! What if you pass out?!" All good questions to consider, sure, but not what I needed to focus on. Not this morning.

I've worked out at the gym long enough now that to not work out hurts, both physically and emotionally. I need to. I really want to.

With finances currently unavailable, we chose to place a freeze on our gym membership, which means I have to stir up my desire to do what I can alone. And though I love the group workouts, it's the accountability that really matters most. The internal voices shouting "I don't want to do that... I don't want to do more" go right out the window. Similar facial expressions, along with smiles, and at times just plain sheer determination to do it anyway, surround you in a group exercise class, versus being alone. The group environment helps squelch those voices in your head saying to each other, "I don't want to! YEAH! GREAT! AMEN! We are DONE, Danno!"

So this morning, after devotional time spent with my husband and a review of our schedules, I knew I needed to get out there by myself and run. And so I did.

Out of the house, I walked briskly until I reached the Eastlawn walk path. A downhill start to rev up my leg engines helped get me going.

Just around the first bend in the path, a spooked squirrel did a 360 in the bushes just to my right. Now, I don't know who scared whom more, but I do know both our hearts, if tested on an EKG scan, would cause a flurry of excitement in a doctor's office, as I am sure that both the squirrel's heart and mine were in cardiac arrest!

Regaining my composure with a relieved chuckle, I resumed my run. Ahhh, yes! This feels so good, I recalled. That is, until my other voice shouted, "Oh no, there... did you feel that?! Our shins... ooh... ouch... tight... I don't know... might really cause some damage here!! What? I can't hardly breathe! Whoa... deep breaths... NO... NO... NORMAL BREATHS! Uh oh... here come people!! Is our face red? Can they tell we haven't been running lately?! Lighten our step, will ya!!! Geez! We run hard as well as walk heavy! For heaven's sake, we're liable to scare them with all this noise!!"

I'm so amazed at what chaos and confusion we cause ourselves that sometimes I wonder if we humans even really needed the enemy's assistance in our fall of mankind.

But in this case, the stronger me won out. I didn't listen to the other me filled with the "I don't want to's" or any of the "oh my's!" I kept going, and it felt real good!

After running to downtown Celebration, I stopped for a restroom break at the Market Street Cafe, then walked over to the benches by the lakeside next to the hotel.

"Wait... Sit with Me for a moment."

I heard His familiar voice whisper in my heart. And so I did. Leaning forward, I began to pray...

"Father, please be with the hurting people in this town. There are so many here."

I opened my eyes, and to my right, standing next to the railing in the far corner, was a dark-haired woman. Dressed similarly to me, hair pulled back in a ponytail, workout top and shorts, tennis shoes, leaning forward looking across the lake... she seemed to be in prayer too.

I closed my eyes once again and continued to pray...

"At every home here where they do not know You or Your Son, may they find You in the midst of their crisis. And at every home where You and Your Son are known, may any crisis they are going through strengthen their hope, faith, and belief in You."

Opening my eyes again, I looked to where the woman had been standing, but she wasn't there. Looking all around, I didn't see her anywhere. Excitement built inside of me as I asked Him, "Was she another angel, Papa?!" About then, I caught a glimpse of her heading toward the walk path. And a sigh of disappointment hit me.

"Shoot! I thought maybe I'd witnessed another one of Your angels, Papa!" Then You said,

"Sometimes they are. And sometimes it's my Spirit dwelling inside of another child of mine that you are witnessing. Either way, it is good."

WOW, I LOVE IT when You speak to me!

And so, now with a feeling of lighter than air, I began to run again. That is, until I reached the boardwalk next to Lake Evelyn.

"Walk with Me."

I heard You say, and I did just that. Breathing in the fresh air, filled with delight in being witness to the beauty surrounding me which You created... until I heard the bell of a bicycle, "CHING, CHING!", from behind, sending a small jolt of shock waves through me as I moved to one side, allowing the couple to ride by.

In the next section of the walk path, I noticed a vibrant red leaf on the ground. With my focus shifted to this beautiful leaf, I didn't notice the squirrel just inches away, who was thinking I had stopped with goodies to eat. "WHOA!!!" I shrieked inside, taken almost out of my shoes once again! "I'm sorry, little fellow... it was the leaf I saw that made me stop." Just as the boardwalk was ending into the open walk path behind the Eastlawn lake, I began to run again.

One of the town's maintenance workers spraying the edge of the lake caught my attention. Well, until I caught sight of a very large alligator cutting a line through the water just a few yards away. "I wonder if he sees the gator? Oh, yep... he's looking its way." As all these thoughts flew through my mind, I suddenly got hit right smack in the face by a falling leaf!

Jolted out of my skin, heart pounding, I chuckled about what had just taken place. And You spoke once more...

"You must keep your eyes on the road I have set before you, not the distractions along the way. Many will come. Some will be obvious. Many will be good, but stay on course."

It was then I noticed that the walk path was constructed of wide squares of concrete in the middle, with smaller strips poured on either side of each square. And You continued...

"Just like these small strips, there will be things that will try to divert your attention from the main road. Do not believe them. Do not follow them."

I recalled my husband's message on "Soil Conditions" and his reminder to us to be watchful of the weeds that can look so much like the good plant.

Then I saw a very white square up ahead of me, and You said...

"Stay on the pure road I've laid out before you. Stay focused. Stay determined. RUN IT!"

"Even when you are spat upon..."

I looked down to see spit on the sidewalk.

"Even when dung is in your way..."

I looked down to see bird droppings on the sidewalk.

"Or trash is strewn about you..."

I looked ahead, and on the path lay a wadded-up paper.

"RUN focused! Eyes focused ahead!"

And then You said...

"Slow down for a moment. That's it. Listen for My voice, My lead."

I noticed a square that had been mended, fixed and repaired with a different color of cement. And You responded...

"I will take your brokenness and mend you. I will square you again. Follow My lead."

Up ahead I saw more white squares. And You spoke...

"Stay focused. Determined. Run with everything in you. RUN!"

And I ran, stepping with each step, feeling each part of my shoes as I moved forward. Moving my arms with precise movement, until I was consumed with love beyond measure for my Lord! "Come, Lord Jesus, come!" my soul cried out, mirrored with streams of salty human tears enveloping what felt to be every inch of me.

"Oh Papa, how I love You! My most handsome, wondrous God, how I love You!"

As I reached what would be the last piece of boardwalk before the road toward home, not wanting to leave this time with You, I paused. Pacing back and forth on the walk path, tears flooded over me.

I envisioned myself pounding on the door of heaven, relentlessly pounding with both fists until it was opened. Pounding with sheer determination not to give up! To get past all distractions, all hindrances! To NEVER give up! Cleansing tears streamed down as audible, whimpering cries of joy escaped me.

And I began to run. As I turned off the boardwalk heading toward home, I saw once again a white square up ahead. But this time I took notice of the grey squares that were just behind and in front of this white one. And You said...

"I will use your past to support that which I am creating new in you. So RUN!!!"

And I did just that! I RAN!!! I ran into my home, straight to my bedroom floor, where I fell on my face before You.

With my heart above my head before You!

In awe of You!

In honor of You!

For YOU are my God!!

Joanna Mikel writings, October 9, 2009